Being a competitive battler for the past 7 years has absolutely fucked up my ability to have a normal run of a Pokemon game. With Pandora’s box now open, I meticulously plan out everything, soft refresh for better natures and IVs, perfectly EV train all of my Pokemon, and grind so hard, Grindr has sued me for copyright infringement. While my twisted mind somehow finds fun in this, I’ve decided it’s time I undo all that black magic and really try to organically enjoy a game of Pokemon.
To help me get over this, I’m going to not only go in blind, but also while playing under Nuzlocke rules. Because I’ve never completely finished an HGSS runthrough, and because I’ve heard from many that they’re the best games, even today, I’ve decided that the game I will run through will be HeartGold. Only if I can do this will I prove to myself that I am truly the master of Pokemon I tell myself I am so I can sleep at night.
Rules for this Nuzlocke:
First, the basic rules that every Nuzlocke ought to have, in my opinion:
- Any of my Pokemon that faint are considered dead and sashay away to the PC forever.
- I’m only allowed to catch the first Pokemon I find in any new area, within reasonable limits. The main deviation is that I will not count Pokemon that I already own–but only if I own that specific Pokemon (for example, if I catch a Pidgey, I will not count all future Pidgeys as encounters, but unless I evolve it or catch a Pidgeotto, I will still count the next Pidgeotto encounter as a ‘first’ for its area). Also, if, for any reason, I’m forced to catch a Pokemon, I will do so for the sake of progressing through the storyline. If I see a shiny Pokemon, I will capture it for the bling bling, but I will not use it if I’ve already caught a Pokemon in the area.
Additional common rules that I will include because I can’t settle for basic:
- HM slaves are an exception for all of this. However, I am not allowed to use an HM slave at all in battle (not even as fodder). If it is forcibly dragged in, I must allow it to faint before switching another Pokemon in (but I am allowed to revive it and keep carrying it in my party for the sake of using HMs).
- I WILL accept eggs and allow myself to use the hatched Pokemon.
- No soft resetting or restarting encounters to fish for ‘better’ Pokemon!!! (We’ll see how well I stick to this).
- I’m not gonna use the Daycare because I’m not that kind of parent.
- Because I want to actually be able to experience the full game, I will permit myself to continue even if all of my party Pokemon sashay away. It will be rough if that happens though, so let’s all pray that it doesn’t.
Finally, odd aesthetic rules that I will follow just for the sake of it all:
- Item Clause on, at all times.
- I will name all of my Pokemon after RuPaul’s Drag Race queens. Mostly from Season 4 and after because I haven’t watched the earlier seasons (don’t come for me about this.).
- Since I have no friends, I will not be trading any of my Pokemon (therefore, I will not be able to use any trade-only evolutions like Steelix or Scizor).
So, gaydies and gentlewomen, this commences my HeartGold Nuzlocke run. I’ll be journaling major points in my progress for your entertaintment. Wahoo!
IvanPlaysPokemon 